Natural Hair : 3 Benefits of Shea Butter

Heeeeeeeeey fellow Naturalistas,  how are the strands doing? I am writing about shea butter today because after coconut oil, it's my best hair product and the benefits of shea butter are endless. I am currently using a processed shea butter product. I use it as my body cream too and I really love it. Shea butter is bae, very bae. In fact, you don't have to be on natural hair to tap into the goodness.

The processed shea butter product I use. It was 300 naira as at last year. Don't know how much now. 

To reap the benefits of shea butter, it's is important to buy premium grade, quality and pure. If you are buying a processed grade, be sure that you can trust the brand. A lot of shea butter we buy are mixed with useless substances, substances that may not only water down the positive effects of the butter but even cause damage to your hair.

Below are the benefits of shea butter :

1. It Soothes dry scalp

Shea butter helps to soothe and moisturize dry scalp. If you have dry scalp, shea butter is an excellent moisturizer. What I like about it is that it is quickly absorbed into your scalp. It doesn't have the messy feeling because after a while, it is quickly absorbed.

2. It softens dry and brittle hair

Another benefit of shea butter is that it is a very good conditioner for dry hair. As soon as I am done washing my hair,  I apply shea butter to make it soft. My project mate during my masters really liked to use it on her daughter. It helps keep her natural hair soft and silky.

3. Seals in moisture

Did you read that LOC method article on my blog last year,  shea butter can stand in for the C-cream. It helps to seal in moisture. If you are on natural hair,  you know how quickly natural hair dries off. Shea butter helps to seal moisture in after you have just finished washing and/or shampooing.

Do you use shea butter? How do you like it? Do you know of any other benefits of shea butter you might like to share? Please share in the comments section.

Tips to Maintaining a Constant Quiet Time

Woman having quiet time

Let's get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we? The spiritual aspect of our lives that we do not want any other person to know about- quiet time. It's so quiet that it might be forever silent and out of our life schedules eventually. Are you struggling with maintaining a regular quiet time?

Well,  I have been in this position several times. Communing with God isn't as automatic as a lot of people claim. We are pushed to believe that once we are born again, we should automatically connect with God and never falter in devotion. But this is not true. The hustle and struggle of living can cause a slow drifting. It's such a subtle and almost unnoticeable one.

Recently, I put a deep thought into how to make my quiet time constant despite the loads and loads of work on my neck. It can be difficult balancing the offline world with the online world, I tell you. There are some mornings I wake up and all I have on my brain is the blog design I am supposed to be turning in or one I am not speeding up. Sometimes, I am thinking of some more quality articles for my blog and before I know it,  it's 2pm and still no quiet time. I admit that this can go on for as long as a week but the emptiness in my spirit doesn't go unnoticed.

Sometimes it's the dryness, other times it's the lack of boldness to approach God. The guilty feeling too. I want to quickly mention now that feelings as Christians aren't enough to judge the authenticity of our salvation. It's just a move of the devil to get us distant from God. Connection with God is by faith and not by feelings.

My failure in my place of constant communion has had ways of drowning me spiritually. Negligence and preoccupation with the cares of this world isn't anything to carelessly joke about. There must be an intentional check.

So,  I made a list of what I should implement. Trials and errors are allowed in the place of communication with God. There are no hard and fast rules. If these do not work, I will move on to adjust until I am 'perfect' in this regard.

-Have a constant time, mornings definitely.

-Make my quiet time interesting. Will incorporate some more music.

-Read lovelier and more interesting quiet time devotionals.

-Read my Bible before praying and not the other way round. I am switching things.

-Use the pidgin version of my eBible. It's deeper and closer to me.

Have you had or been having problems lately with your quiet time? What have you done? What are you planning to do? Let me know your thoughts in the comments section.

Valentine Love Messages for Your Lover

Valentine day picture

Heyo. Good morning. Do you want to spice up your Valentine this year? Find beautiful Valentine love messages here. This compilation is the most romantic you'll find anywhere on the Internet.

So much importance is attached to the 14th of February just because it's valentine, you however matter to me more than just a day. Happy Vals Day.

I would not only show you how much I care for you on Vals day but also the other 364days of the year.  I love you.

Valentine's Day will come and go but my love for you will never fade one bit. Let's make this day special. Happy Vals day.

Loving you has been the greatest joy in my life. I want to show today and beyond that you matter to me more than you think. I love you.

Beyond now and forever, into the stars and the moon, my love for you is like the sands by the seashore. It's unquantifiable. I love you

The stars and the moon share the sky at night, all coming together to make a beautiful scenery. I Want to share my all with you my love. Happy Vals day.

This is our first valentine we will be sharing together. I'm using this day to assure you of my unwavering love towards you. Let's enjoy today honey.

At the time when love will wane and feelings won't be sparking like it used to be, I want us to be able to look back to days like this one where we forgot everything and smiled at each other. Happy February 14th.

The world sometimes will become noisy that we allow the eventide hold us bound and we forget each other. Today will not be one of those days. I love you dear. Happy Vals day.

I just don't want us to have a Valentine's day like every other person, I want us to have a time where we can look back on and tell ourselves it was worth it.

Because today is specially dedicated to you; my pumpkin, my damsel, my confidant, my queen. I am going to make it worth the while. I love you.

From now into forever, I will continue to renew my love for you. Irrespective of distance or any other barrier, my love for you will continue to rise like the early morning sun.

What other day to express my love for you all over again if not on a day such as this. Dress up baby, we are rocking it together today.

Because 24 hours in a year is not enough for me to express my love for you I'm assuring you now that everyday of our lives will be Valentine for us. I love you dear.

I want you to look back to the 14th of February and wish it never ended. Valentine is not just for everybody, it's specially for the two of us.

Every new day is a new chapter in our lives filled with different happenings but the chapter of 14/02 is going to be a different one for us. I am assuring you. I love you.

So that when you begin to write your diary by the end of today, you will run out of ink because you won't be able to finish writing about today. It's a surprise.

Look back and see where you've been and where you are coming from. Look forward and see where you are going. Look beside you and see me holding your hands. Happy Vals Day.

I'm faraway now baby, but only physically. My heart is always and forever with you dear. Distance won't be a barrier today dear. Let's make this happen - together.

Open your blinds, look at the beautiful sky,  hear the birds chirping, and listen to the wind blow. Let nature call out to you because when next you will be opening your door, I'll be right there waiting for you. It's Valentine baby.

Life of a New Lagos 'Jobber' #1 - House Hunt

New Lagos Jobber image.

Today is a Friday and I type this on my Techno Camon C8 in one of your ugly yellow buses.

It's not only ugly, it's uncomfortable and I am cranky. Yeah,  disaster. I have lived in Ogun all my life (save for my schooling in Ilorin). Lagos is therefore another state. So, do not say Lagos, when you mean to say Ogun. Stop eet. I rarely come here except for when I have to. And oh well,  I rarely have to.

Now that I have to, guess what, it's going to be a long time visit. It's for a job and let me kind of make this a fanciful thing. Let's begin : I am the new content and correspondence officer of a real estate company. Don't worry if you don't really dig into real estate. We are both on the same level. I am practically a novice. Oh, why I am picked for the job? Ehm, reason is more of my inclination to digital marketing than whatever real estate is.

I will bore you if I continue with that paragraph, so let's move. I am not excited to leave home in the dark to get to work by 8am. It's such a cruel idea that I get home late from work too. So, next good move - get a place to stay for the week and go home on weekend, or not. And guess what, house hunt has been bullshit.

No, it may not be for you. I hear there is money in Lagos. Induction to the system isn't started yet so I guess, I will have to wait a little more to claim my own money. For now, a broke-ass fine babe is behind your screen. My looks don't match my pocket. Nah. Oh wait, I don't mean my outfit. I mean my looks. O boy, I am fine.

Ehm,  I was supposed to talk about house hunt before narcissism took over. Because of my shikini money, I can't find a decent house. So,  I got to this supposed girl's hostel and I was like, no, you kid. I won't tell you, it's too long to narrate but the toilet is a den of microbes. No, I'll pass. Next.

Yeah, next. I don't want. Next, I still don't want. No house, no nothing for now. I will soon alight from your ugly bus. Bye.

5 Simple Ways to Spice up Your Valentine this Year

Valentine couple in love
Photo via @blackloveexists

This recession sef! If one is not careful, it will hijack valentine from somebody. But you see ehn,  I think a very romantic person is known if s/he can make things happen even when things are tight. You know,  whip up some emotions even when the resources are lacking. It's possible that this is when we will know the substance some people are made up of romantically.

To be honest, it's crazy. When I learnt that in some parts of Nigeria, airtime is sold with 20 naira addition, I cringed. Imagine a couple trying to make things work financially. This must be a difficult time for many people to communicate, especially long distance coupes. However, this is not the end of valentine. We will still be creative. We will still make love worth celebrating this year. No Jupiter of a recession will stop it. Oya,  let's see what we can do :

1. Write love notes/letters

Many people, including my friends on Facebook are now advocating for this big time. I am fully in support of this move because a heart felt written note goes a very long way. You can write short notes and put on the bathroom mirror, bed side table or kitchen table. It should be words you don't use everytime. For long distance relationships, it could be a letter that you send through the post office or any other way.

2. Watch a new movie together

You can set up a cinema right in your house. Let it be a movie you both have been anticipating to see or see together. Prepare light snacks and drinks and make yourselves comfortable. Laugh, scream, groan, argue and just be happy over a new movie. Valentine with your partner is about being expressive about that love, so express it.

3. Go to the beach

Just you both and your beach outfit are all you need. So,  get into them and go enjoy the waves. Talk. Really talk. Like communicate, share deep things. Make it all about your partner and have fun remembering older times of fun, times you fought, awkward or weird moments etc.

4. DIY gifts

Present your partner with something you did by yourself. Make it intentional and thoughtful. This is what matters. You can get cardboard and make something really cool e.g love card, Valentine card etc. You can make a hand bead if you know how to make that. Just make something remarkable that you know they will remember even after a long time.

5. Make a new recipe

If you don't mind, make dinner or lunch at home together. Try out a new recipe. For long distance relationships, you can plan on making the same meal that day and taking pictures to see the results. You can also dare each other by posting it on a social media platform and see whose gets more favour. Just have fun cooking something new.

What are your plans this Valentine? Will you rock this season despite the recession?

How to Maintain Your Online Integrity as a Blogger

This is a repost. I was reading my blog archive and I found this extremely useful. I am hoping it will reach more people, especially bloggers this time around. 

With the rise of blogging as a career, a lot of competition has arisen and it’s only expected that people want to drive traffic, massive traffic towards their blogs. However, in the search of readers, there is something that every blogger should never consider losing-online integrity. Let me mention that it is possible to lose it before knowing and bitter truth is that redeeming is costly. The internet is relationship with different sets of people and like relationships, redeeming trust is almost impossible like that. Here are a few tips to help you maintain your online integrity as a blogger.

How to Recognize Verbal Abuse. Practical Solutions.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me".

How many women think of that schoolyard rhyme while reeling from a partner's put-downs or angry outbursts?

Cruel words can do worse than break bones: They can break your spirit, cripple your confidence, even make you physically ill.

This can happen to any woman, with any family background or career.

It has happened to psychologists, lawyers, doctors, teachers, Web designers, mommies—even the feminists.

A woman falls into the trap because the abuse takes her by surprise.

He isn't abusive while he's courting you, but once he gets you, he switches—and you have no idea why.

How can his voice drown out your inner knowing?

The abuse only happens when you're alone with him. Friends and coworkers might think he's a prince, so you doubt your own perceptions or believe his anger must be your fault.

Verbal abuse escalates gradually; you adapt. The abuse might also become physical, if let unresolved and unchecked with just enough sweet times to keep you hoping the relationship will improve.

Assuming he's rational (aren't all men?) and wants what you want (loving mutuality), you strain to make sense of what he says. But it's nonsense, designed to confuse you.

The shocking truth is, he seeks control, not intimacy.

Yet you can save your spirit. These are the steps to emotional rescue:

1. Recognize that the abuse has nothing to do with you or your actions or qualities.

2. Stop trying to explain and defend yourself. Instead, start setting limits: "Cut that out!" or "I don't want to hear that."

3. Listen carefully to your feelings. Believe them, not him.

4. Get support from a counselor or therapist. Make sure s/he understands that this isn't just a "conflict" or an "argument."

Keep in mind that an abuser might be able to change himself if he really wants to, but you can't change him. You can honor and nurture yourself.

With Love