17 Creatively Awesome Ways to Date on a Budget

Date on a budget text on picture

It is often believed in this part of the world that only a man pays the bills on a date. But the women can change that narrative. As a woman you can invite your man out on a date; it doesn't harm anyone and remember, it's a date not the rest of your life.

So you're a woman, maybe an entrepreneur like me, an independent woman and you are on a tight budget? A little creative thought on your part, and a laid-back, open-minded person, will make a great date, and still leave some change in your pocket. Plus, it's a great way to make sure you're not dating a gold digger.

1. Take a walk.

Whether it's in a park, or downtown, or wherever, walking for the sake of walking is a good way to see how you and your date get along. Can you two hold a conversation? Are your silences uncomfortable, or do you glance at each other and smile?

2. Go hiking.

If you and your date are nature lovers, this is the ultimate cheap date. All you really have to pay for is gas to get to the hiking trail, and snacks. Make sure you are prepared, though; bring water and wear layers.Want to make it memorable? Go barefoot hiking. Don't get lost. Even if you impress your date with your survival skills, it'll still be more of a stressful experience than anything else.

3. Take a photography tour.

If you don't have a digital camera, buy a few disposable ones -- they're not that expensive. Then wander around and take pictures. This is best for creative, fun-loving types. You can take pictures of each other in wacky poses with all kinds of faces; you can photograph things big and small, from unique angles. And you'll have something to remember the date by - how romantic!

4. Hit the books.

Spend a few hours at a local bookstore or library. Talk about your favorite books. Browse the art and photography books and point out what each of you like. Go through architecture books and talk about which houses you like. Be as corny or as intellectual as you'd like! ...If you're not bookworms, go to a music store instead!

5. Make dinner for your date.

A meal made from scratch can actually be quite inexpensive, as well as delicious. Making pancakes or other pastries, for example, wouldn't drain your pocket. Throw in a few candles (and perhaps some wine) and you've got a romantic dinner on your hands!

6. Play pool or darts.

The best place for this is a bar. If you go during happy hour, you can get cheap drinks and food too.

7. Go to an open garden or a nearby farm.

Pick berries, pumpkins, fruit, vegetables or maybe even milk a cow! Bonus points if you can use your fresh-picked produce for a home-cooked meal.

8. Check out the local music scene.

If you live in a medium or large city, there are probably plenty of bands that put on free shows, or charge a few amount, visit them and have fun all the way.

9. Take a dance class together.

Many dance studios and instructors offer free or low-cost beginner group lessons. Consider swing, salsa, or (for a little extra intimacy) tango.

10. Hit the gym.

Many gyms offer a free day pass for you to "test" the facilities. Challenge each other with weight training, take a yoga or aerobics or spinning class together, and splash around in the pool. Exercise releases a certain chemical that leaves both of you burning calories and feeling great.

11. Viewing center

If there's a minor league sports team nearby, go with him to a game or a sport viewing center. Tickets to these such are often only a few naira, and are a great way to spend the afternoon or evening together.

12. Movies

Check around your community for independently-owned or discount movie theatres.
Tickets will cost less (often only about a thousand naira or two), as will concessions. In addition, these theatres will be less crowded, so you're less likely to get stuck behind someone tall or in front of someone loud!

13. Check out your local zoo or museum

Usually these are inexpensive places to go on a date and explore a little. Occasionally, these places will also have free days. Some are free every day!

Check out whether your church or other local organizations have weekend retreats and camping trips.
You can find very inexpensive weekend getaways if it's organized by a group that's not for profit. If you're a member of the group and your date is too, you may find lots of time to enjoy together out in the woods sharing an activity you enjoy. Science fiction conventions and other shared personal interests can be great weekend or day-trip activities at very little cost and often turn romantic as long as your partner's as interested in it as you are.

15 Take him on a picnic!

Everybody has some different types of food in their fridge, surprise him! And a chocolate cake doesn't cost that much either. He'll be impressed and he'll think you are romantic too.

16. Take a splash on a pool or a beach.

If you're living on a subdivision or a place where there's a public pool included in the amenities, you can spend some time swimming and talking there while taking some food from your house nearby. Or you can go to a local beach resort. Some of these resorts offer a free or small amount entrance fees. Then, you can opt not to rent a cottage and just stay on the seaside. You can also bring some foods from home to the beach or purchase at a local store where prices are much cheaper.

Rent a movie to watch together.


You should enjoy period of bliss before, during and after your dates, you don't have to slit your throat to have fun.

5 Ways to Know Your Bra Doesn't Fit

You know this uncomfortable, less-confident feeling you have when you are wearing the wrong bra size right? I have been really unfortunate with bras and perfect fits. It's been a lot of trial and errors for me. I just recently decided to go for the right size at a go. No more guessing and wishing and hoping? My next bra shopping is going to be pinpoint accurate, I promise myself that because I am so tired of the adjusting et al.

Do you know if you are also using the wrong bras? Let me tell you how to know for sure that your bra does not fit you well.

1. The back of the band is riding up

Many of us know this. As soon as I began wearing bras, mumsi would watch out for the back of the band. When it is riding up she would give the disapproving look and it wouldn't matter how much she bought it o, she would just ask me to dump it. I don't know why that pointer was that serious to her. Hihihihihihihihihihi. So, when your band rides up at the back of your bra, it doesn't fit your boobs.

2. Your bra straps are digging into your shoulders

Your bra is too tight if the straps are digging into your shoulders even when it is completely released. Wearing bra doesn't have to be punishment biko. Hia! Shey that's why some girls don't like wearing bras. All their lives, they have unfortunately bought those that digged into their shoulders. For busty girls, it might be tricky because of the weight of the boobs but no matter what, there should not be great discomfort at the shoulders. Go a size smaller.

3. The underwire is sitting away from your chest wall

It doesn't matter how nice other indicators are, if the base of your bra is sitting away from your chest wall, it doesn't fit. It is because the band is too wide. Sometimes this is usually accompanied with it riding up at the back. Sometimes it doesn't ride up at the back but as long as it doesn't sir well, it isn't your size.

4. Your boobs are bulging out at the sides

Many of us know how uncomfortable this can be. Na so so ugly shat go kon be. See the way body hugs usually look on these bras, very ugly and embarrassing.

5. Your boobs are sagging even under the bra

This one is a no no, no argument. Even with a bra, your boobs are still sagging, maka why? Hihihihihihihihihihi..... Your bra should lift your boobs up and make them firm. Same for push up bras too, they are too off your size if they cannot even lift up your boobs.

Which of these do you frequently find yourself experiencing with your bras?

Till Snoring do us Part and Other Weekend Links

Weekend Links

Hey, my blog people, how are you? Yes, I am back again with Weekend Links. You see ehn, I stopped this because the response was low. No matter how hard I tried, people didn't seem to want to read my Weekend Links, so I got discouraged. I stopped and focused on other more receptive segments of the blog.

Some days back, I began to ponder on the original reason I started this. First, I got the inspiration from Berry Dakara's blog. Second, I read so many blogs and websites on the internet. I learn so much of different things that sharing on my Facebook wall would piss my audience because it would be too much for them to take in per time. So, I started Weekend Links to share these links, I wanted you to read some of the things that have blessed me on these beautiful blogs.

So, Weekend Links is back and I sincerely hope it stays much longer this time. I don't have to do this every week, I will do this when I have many links in queue to share. I am trying to be more true to myself, my audience and my blog. I believe that when I don't put too much pressure on this segment, if I let it flow naturally, it will come up as it should.

I have a long list of compilation but I will highlight just 5 of my Favorites. I am telling you that the ones for this week are very cool. You will like them, I promise you.

How to stop the habit of comparing yourself with other people 

I am going through an emotional phase of my life right now but what's important is that for each day of this period, the Lord is taking me through one lesson per day. This article is one of such lessons. Sometimes we go through depression and unnecessary sadness because we compare a lot. We want to be like this person, we want to be like that person. This article is what you need if you have found yourself in that habit. Truth is that many people have battled this or are still battling this one way or the other.

Till snoring do us part 

This one is just for the fun of it. I saw the blog post notification on Instagram (in case you haven't noticed, I spend a lot of time on Instagram. You can follow me here. Thank you 😘 ). I took immediate interest when I saw that it was about snoring. You can check my comment on that post too. I said in the comment that I am hoping my future husband can take me for the snorer I am. I don't hear myself snore which is good news and bad news. Good news because I sleep off and don't have to be disturbed by it, bad news because I don't like that it disturbs other people.

Popular Blogging Misconceptions

So, you know what we bloggers have gone through in this life. Plenty plenty things o. Someone will come up and say that we are not doing anything. One girl walked up to me last year, I can't ever forget that day. It was AIDS awareness day or something, can't remember exactly how it is coined. We were at the cinema and a mutual friend signaled to her to come meet me. So she goes, 'you are Esther Adeniyi? Wow. I learned you have a blog. Is like everybody now has a blog o.' It felt like, 'what do you people do on your blogs?'

Anyway, enough of the tori tori, check what Kacheetee has to say about this issue. I like her post on it.

Relationship conflicts and how to overcome 

I want to dare say that this is one of the best articles I have read in a long while on relationships. It was so so accurate and realistic on relationship conflicts. Y'all know how this relationship things are now. You should read this article if you have especially been quarrelling so much with bae or boo.

How to differentiate between God's will and your will 

I was searching for something online when I stumbled on this question someone asked on Boundless. I liked the answer to the question. I would like you to read it too.

Okay, so, which of these links did you like? How is your weekend going to be na? Any gist?

Caroline Mutoko: my Woman Crush this Wednesday

Caroline Mutoko has inspired me and is still inspiring me from very far, the YouTube kind of far. When I talk about her, you would think that I have met her and for the life of me, what I am very intrigued about isn't even really the intelligence that has made her into her unique claim of 'woman', they are the petty, almost unnoticeable things that intrigue me. I really can't push it away, her wisdom wows me.

The first YouTube video I ever watched was, 'Where did my money go' and that was the revival I needed at the time. I wasn't even a spendthrift, I just needed some more confidence to reinforce that I am not one to buy five bags at a go

Her style

Caroline Mutoko is a very stylish woman. You need to watch only one of her YouTube videos to know that. We share the same body shape, only that she is bigger. I get a lot of inspiration from how she styles herself. One would never imagine that she is minimalist because she has got such an amazing mix and match skill.

Her accent

Have you ever heard the pure hybrid of Africa and America in sounds? There is something about Caroline Mutoko's still. It's captivating and inviting. I think it adds to why she has this much oratory power.

Her confidence

So, she discusses some topics with daunting confidence and strength. How many women would want to do politics and fashion. This one is the one to move from fashion to relationships to politics and to anything many women still haven't gotten the nerve to say.

I celebrate this Kenyan 'babe' today.

These 9 Things Will Terminate Your Healthy Relationship!

Couples in love

Most of the triggers that cause a budding relationship to detonate are not that mysterious. Many times, they are things we do not take cognizance of. They chip off from the relationship not at once but gradually. 

Here are nine most common reasons for such detonation.

1. Distance

An emotionally distant partner can be frustrating, which is why it is important to keep the communication flowing. When the talking and sharing stops, an invisible wall goes up, which can lead to some very unhappy endings.

When it comes to long distance relationships, these can certainly work, usually if there is an end goal in sight (knowing that eventually you will be living in the same city!). If you are entering into a LDR and you happen to be jealous or insecure, then you are in for a tough road ahead. It's best to really consider whether you can handle these types of challenges -- or not.

2. The Real Self Emerges

We have heard these stories countless times: "S/he seemed so amazing in the beginning, and six months in, she turned into a controlling nightmare!" "S/he was so sweet in the beginning, and now s/he's turned into the biggest cheapskate." There is a common school of thought that it takes about six months to get to know someone fairly well, and to see multiple sides of that person. This is why it is so crucial that you take your time getting to know anyone you are dating. It's either going to get better and better, or you will start to see cracks in the foundation. Protecting yourself by wading in slowly is a smart way to begin anything new.

3. Dishonesty and Deception

Want to know how to instantly ruin a really great relationship? Then lie to your partner, cheat or engage in other questionable behaviors. Lies destroy a crucial component in a partnership: trust. A person's need to lie is a telling clue about his character and emotional health as well.

4. Lazy Bones

Things started out great! He planned nights out, made me dinner, and now I can't get him off the couch or to do anything! Some people put their best feet forward when trying to woo their partners, but once they are feeling comfortable, they stop putting any thought or energy into the relationship. This can be a fatal error. Both partners have to give in a relationship, and that means sharing responsibilities, thinking up date ideas, and providing dinner (even if it's take-out!).

5. When Criticism Creeps In

See the sad pumpkin? This is how your partner feels when you start believing it is your place to criticize them. A once-fantastic relationship can turn negative when one of the parties starts picking on the other. There really isn't room for this in a flourishing relationship, where both people should be lifting one another up -- not tearing them down. Except it is a constructive criticism, there should not be room for critique at all, the works and attitudes of your partner should be commended and encouraged.

6. Different Directions

For a while, it seems you and your new interest are in the same 'space' together. And then? S/he gets a job in another state, or s/he decides to go to graduate school and focus all of his attention there. Sometimes the circumstances and timing in our lives are enough to end a once-promising union. In these situations it's not about pointing fingers, but accepting that not every relationship is meant to last. Live and learn, right?

7. Too Physical, Too Fast

It takes time to form the healthy emotional circuits needed to sustain a lasting relationship. Trust and the willingness to commit can't be rushed. But surging sexual energy can short out a potential partnership, if switched on too early. Becoming physically intimate can open up a large amount of issues that put pressure on a fledgling relationship -- so proceed at a pace that feels right for you.

8. Fairy Tale Fantasies (a.k.a Unrealistic Expectations)

A woman who describes her guy as "Prince Charming," or a guy thinks his girlfriend can absolutely "do no wrong," are both headed for nightmare on romance street. There's nothing wrong with believing the best about each other, but understanding that along the way there will be bumps in the road is important. Every relationship requires compromise, patience, understanding and hard work -- that's living in reality.

9. Unchecked Emotional Baggage

Now, hopefully your partner's baggage doesn't include a surprise child (and dog!), but we have heard worse. The biggest type of baggage which will stop the best relationship in its tracks? Unresolved emotional issues. All of us carry around wounds we've received as children, or in past relationships, the key is how willing you are to examine them, understand them, and work through them. Left unchecked, you'll likely encounter the same problems in every relationship you start. Self-exploration is a wonderful thing!

If you can overcome even 5-6 of these 'do nots'  you should be able to enjoy a great deal in your relationships.

Dear Older Lady, Being Nasty is a Choice!

I was going through my Instagram feed this morning and I am so happy that people are speaking up about this. In schools, at work, everywhere, older women are becoming very nasty and intolerant. They pose to be good women in church but are saucy to the younger generation outside church. So much of double standards. 

A younger lady will feel threatened instead of warm in the presence of these older women. Why? Things really need to change because this attitude is a choice. You can decide to be cool, calm, respectful and warm. You can choose to be polite, respectful and humble. You can choose to lead by example. I want you to read from @etiquettebykanyin

“Today, we speak to the many emails we receive regarding older ladies treating younger ladies unfairly at their places of work or other spheres of life.

Firstly, treating another person unfairly is a choice, and doing so because you are older and see the other person as inferior is the most callous. When did age become an important variable for intelligence, capabilities, achievements etc! We all advance at different paces hence the need to respect one another.

How does a female boss calling her staff a 'MONKEY' sound? The degradation is unbelievable!

If you have a female boss who is firm on you, empowers you and produces good results, then good for you - you'd be silly not to appreciate that.

But a BULLY IS A BULLY! Constantly talking down at someone and treating them in an inhumane manner, because you see them as a threat makes you a coward. You can't completely shatter someone's confidence and self esteem and think you are a winner. That's a wicked soul!

Character says a lot about the kind of person you are. You can't wear the religious hat outside work, but at work your outward disposition and interactions with others, especially younger females, embodies the complete opposite.  Perhaps you are older and female, making great strides - those who are younger and serious would want to learn from you as you'll be a great resource. But certainly not with a proud attitude.

There are a lot of Gracious, Confident, Warm, Friendly, Accommodating and Accessible older ladies out there, we salute you.

Again, it's important to say, you can't be all good things as no one is perfect but try to be some good things and be known for good character and treating people fairly.”

Source : Instagram via @etiquettebykanyin

4th Year Blogiversary × Blog Makeover & Review Giveaway

Blog anniversary

If you are my friend on Facebook, jumping around over my blog today (again) is definitely going to get you pissed but I will do it. I want to scream and shout on the mountain tops. I want the whole world to know that I stayed with this for four years; that I survived it despite the ups and downs.

I launched my first post on March 16, 2013. I don't know if I am still proud of that poem but I have evolved (and that's what matters). I had opened my blog before that, sometime in February that year. I can't exactly remember the date. Little did I know that celebrating blog anniversaries would be a thing. I therefore chose the date I published my first post. My first blog, The Nigerian Student, I opened in 2011. I was such a newbie. I knew practically nothing, the blogosphere was also very scanty. I had to learn too many things on my own and ehn, see I started with Nokia Asha 302. This is why I tell new bloggers that you don't need that many gadgets and tech stuff. All you need are a browser phone (preferably, Android) and an internet subscription.

Blogging has been a lot of fun for me. I have had the opportunity to meet people like you. I have been able to connect with people from far and near; from different walks of life. I have had to learn how to design a beautiful blog (I can still advertise here right? Contact me if you want something superb). I have made some money from blogging. They come in trickles but it's all I need to stay happy as a blogger. I can only hope for more financial rewards.

Today, in celebration of my 4th blog anniversary, I will be hosting a giveaway. You can comment below for a chance to win a blog makeover (blogspot blogs only) or review (any blog). Submit your blog addresses to enter. You don't have to be a blogger, you can have a blogger friend whose life you want to bless today. I will pick the blog I will be designing by myself. So, leggo...

Thank you very much for being a part of my success. Thank you for reading my blog posts. Thank you for accommodating my excesses. I want to specially thank contributing writers on my blog over time. Emeka, thank you, I can't thank you enough. Olufunmbi, kisses. Yele, my darling, 'unserious' fellow, I love you.

Cheers to us, we made it to 4.

Life of a New Lagos ''Jobber'' #2 - Phone Thieves Use Guns. In Lagos.

'Wo, won ma ja foni yen gba lowo e nisin'

No, I am not interpreting any shingbai because yes, I am grumpy and I swear to noodles, I am hungry but I can't eat anymore because I don't want to eat late at night because I want to be drastic about maintaining my weight because just this evening I saw Deborah with whom I went to the same secondary school and she is still as same as we departed after valedictory service and I don't know what she did to deserve the gift to eat any freaking thing without adding pounds.

After Mr 'pokenosing into other people's affairs' said 'line 1',my mind flashed back to my collegue's narration of how his phone was snatched from him at gun point.

Gun pointiiiiiii. Lasgidi!

This Mr 'I don't know what his business is' had been staring at me in your traffic for a long time. Y'all know those stupid stand still traffic sturvs are. Iranu. Next thing, he dished me some advice.

Somebody kanor press phone in peace niyen o. But eko baje gan shaaaaaa. Honestly. Somebody will come and tell me tomorrow that there is mainland and Island so I should go and experience the good side of Lagos first. Oginni?! Uhn, oginni? C'mon let me hear word, will you?

I learned just this afternoon, from an housing and infrastructure expert and consultant that Lagos is a meta city. Sorry o, 'mega city' people. Actually, 'mega' sounds cool kind of, like in a porsh way. So, 10 million and above - mega city ; 20 million and above - meta city. You people in Lagos are 23 million. I am not lying. All of you, 23 million people tan tan. So, in fact, I don't understand what all of you are doing there o. They say by 2030, all of you will be 30 million.

So, well, you know, there will be at least one person to snatch another person's phone on the road. With a gun! Ah, jatijati shaaaaaa.

Tue,14th March. 8:33pm

Sally's Weight Loss and Tummy Flattening Techniques

"This post is in response to the promise I made about sharing my weight loss and tummy flattening techniques. A good number of ladies here asked and so I'm sharing this.

Before I go on, I want to remind you that our bodies and situations differ. I work with what suits my body and my schedule. This is not a definitive formula but a simple guide that has worked for me and something to inspire you. I have never been thin. I was born chubby. Through my years I stayed on the slim side of chubby but recently, I began to gain weight and I'll tell you why.

In the first picture, you can see a snapshot of me almost two weeks ago and another I took just this morning. You can see the huge difference. I'll tell you how I attained that but first...

When I had my son, as I shared in a comment on another post, I lost a lot of weight. The weight loss was so scary and drastic that people began to worry for me. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to add up on fat as I resumed work two months after. Work meant walking certain distances climbing a flyover almost every day that had lots of steps and not eating the way I wanted to because I just didn't have time. I was skinny at that point. At the same time, I was breastfeeding, so this contributed to my 'fitness'.

But my son turned 7 and I quiton breastfeeding, plus I reduced my working days because I didn't have a nanny for my kids. And from nowhere, the pounds began to add like mad. I became worried and my husband told me to join him every morning to exercise. So, we'd wake up by 5am, sometimes 4am and workout. I'd do 500 jumps with Yoga asanas for my belly. The results were crazy. In a month, all my flabby mommy tummy was gone and I was nursing a 4-pack.

This went on for more than a year until I quit my job completely and started spending more time at home. I got another job but I was not obligated to go to the office at all, which worked well for me because I was having nanny issues again. I stopped working out and the fat returned slowly. I'd look at myself in the mirror and say 'don't worry, you'll exercise tomorrow'. I kept procrastinating on and on until the fat did not only return, it disfigured my tummy and thighs. To worsen things, I began having issues with my bones (I suffer from arthritis). First it was my knees, and then my right hand and in November last year, I suffered a slip disc. I was told to stay away from exercise for two months.

So , there I was, sitting around, unable to do anything because of intense pain and getting incredibly fat.

So, what did I do? I began with dieting. I tried slimming tea. It did not work. I then drastically changed the way I ate and what I ate. I reduced my meals in half and cut off dinner entirely. I increased fruits and veggies. In my house, every evening, you will find oranges, papaya, water melon, pineapple, carrots, cucumber and bananas.

In two weeks, I had dropped some pounds. When I saw awesome results, I went down to breakfast alone and ate fruits like a horse through the day. Before then, it could take four to five days for me topoo but since I started, I'd have bowel movements every day. Sometimes twice a day. I avoided bread and noodles. I did rice but with salads and beans. Please note that I did not go into a keto diet.

It got to a point where pastries irritated me. I couldn't stand sugary stuff. I literally craved for fruits. The results have been awesome.

So, below is my daily routine.

1. First thing in the morning, I take a tummy cleanser. This includes warm water with one lemon and some ginger. Boil the water and ginger and leave to cool, then squeeze in a lemon. Sometimes, just water and lemon. This helps bowel movement. Some call it tummy blasting. I don't know about that.

(Side note: I use what is left of the squeezed lemon on my face to remove acne, and on my armpits to lighten them - great results!)

2.Yoga asana. (Please see pics). I begin with the Cobra pose and then the bow and then the boat and lastly, the plank. I do five sets each and at each set I count to twenty - roughly twenty or thirty seconds. I hold my breath as much as I can and breathe out at intervals.
Following that, I do 500 jumps using a skipping rope. The jumps are basically to burn outside fat and the yoga works on your inner tummy muscles. Please, do not make the mistake of doing stomach exercises alone. It is a huge waste of time. Work on the inside and outside of your tummy for efficient results.

3. A healthy, full, indulgent breakfast that includes veggies and fruits and carbohydrate for energy. Please, do not eliminate carbs from your diet. It's very important. You need it for energy to exercise.

Sometimes, I get too busy with writing to work out in the morning, so I shift the exercise until the evening when I've done all my work.

4. If I workout in the morning, I'll then add 500 jumps in the evening. But you don't have to be me. I'm an extremist when I do stuff. Sometimes I hurt myself. Please,do what suits you.

5. I stay disciplined. Sometimes I indulge in a meal here and there but I always realign myself. When I become peckish, I reach for a carrot or apple and eat. I always have a fruit on standby for longathroat.

6. I make smoothies. Sometimes, I go to the market and buy really soft bananas. They are way cheaper than the hard ones. I blend them with just one sachet of peak milk and some ice and have an awesome smoothie. I can't wait for ripe mangoes (not boiled ones) to come. Mango smoothies are bae.

So, those were my tips. I know they may sound too much but remember that I didn't start all at a go. I began with dieting and then when my body allowed, I added exercise. With the exercise, please start small before you end up in the emergency room and you blame Sally. Pace yourself. The food as well. Don't just cut off your present routine; diffuse, do it slowly and with time, you'll get used to veggies and fruits.

It's not easy but please don't say 'I'm too busy', 'my mother too is fat', 'It's in my family'. It won't help you, my dear. Create time or someday you will be forced to drop everything else to attend to your health. A healthy lifestyle makes you younger, happier, more confident and sexier. Make your body better than it is today. Even if you are slim, stay healthy. Don't be eating like a horse. I can count up to five people I know who used to be stick thin but are all chubbier than me today. The silly thing a lot of slim ladies do is eat anyhow. Please, stop. We women are fat hoarders. When you overeat, you are slowing down your body metabolism. One day, it will just spark and stop working as it used to and you won't know what to do with the accumulating fat.

In conclusion, if there's anything you'll learn from me here today is that you should love your body the way it is. If I hated my body, I won't achieve this much in a short time. I'd have given up and concluded it was a waste of time. I'd have gone back to an unhealthy way of life.

Love your body and work on making it better."

Sally Kenneth Dadzie

My Number one Lesson From Hidden Figures (Movie)

Hidden figures poster

Thank you Maureen, because of you I have been able to reignite what the essence of my womanhood really means. I won't stop because I feel like it; I will continue because I must, even if I end up an 'hidden figure'. Hidden Figures is a powerful movie and I strongly recommend that every single blog reader watch it: male or female. 

"Hidden Figures is a 2016 American biographical drama film directed by Theodore Melfi and written by Melfi and Allison Schroeder, based on the non-fiction book of the same name by Margot Lee Shetterly about African American female mathematicians who worked at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) during the Space Race. The film stars Taraji P. Henson as Katherine Johnson, a mathematician who calculated flight trajectories for Project Mercury and other missions."---Wikipedia

My Number One Lesson

There is nothing as formidable as a confident woman. 
Hidden Figures - Taraji P. Hensen

Take it or leave it, this fact remains. 

Years ago, we would equate 'confident woman' to 'proud', 'uncouth', 'egoistic' and oh well, everything negative. These days, the awakening is 'rude' and intense and all-round positive. 

Right within us, we have many of the things we need to survive and prosper, to impact and cause a revolution but we withdraw into ourselves for fear of failure and other people's opinions. Damn all of that and be the best Engineer, the best Cook, the best Seamstress. Be the best Writer! Be the best 'anything you find yourself doing at any point in time.'
Hidden figures movie  poster

Develop yourself, learn aggressively, pursue your dreams with all of your passion and your might. Unapologetic-ally own your dreams. Strive for excellence and remember that you can do more, that you can be more and that it is never enough. A confident woman is never afraid to be the first. Yes, there will be that tiny little voice to warn that you are a peanut sized instrument in the midst of men and experts in vast, insurmountable fields but you can once and for all shuuush it and move on like it's your last leg to gold.

I really would like that you watch this movie. Hidden Figures is for every woman in every corner and still in the spirit of the International Women's Day I dare you to #beboldforchange. 

...because we are good women, we will #BeBoldForChange

Photo via @adoch

... because we are deliberate women, we won't forget so easily what we learned all over Social media yesterday.

...because we will #beboldforchange we will stop killing other women behind their backs, we will stop hating on another woman just because she is beautiful, smart or busy fulfilling purpose.

We will stop making other women's lives miserable because of our hormones.

We will uphold each other and tell the truth, no matter how hard to our faces.

We will support and hold each other during dry times.

We will not condemn, judge or look the other way when a weaker woman is in trouble.

We will not be quick to expose each other flaws because we understand that the combination of strengths and weaknesses is what makes each woman unique.

We will on our own strive for excellence and remember that we can be more, that we can do more, that it is never enough.

We will never be afraid to be first to break barriers.

We will not leave another woman in the middle of her journey because we are tired of her tears.

We will not pretend to be who we are not.

We will not write and tuck our goals under our pillows.

We will not give up on chasing our dreams because we found love.

We will be beautiful women inside and out.

We will be bold to stand up for righteousness and integrity.

We will support all the men in our lives because we are nurturers.

We will be positive about our abilities and capabilities.

We will be optimistic about our nations and not only hope but make it a better place for the tiny little ones that will come from in between our loins.

We will #BeBoldForChange

#BeBoldForChange: Ruby Bridges (1954-)

Ruby bridges

We are celebrating women, history and achievements today. Women, we have indeed come a long way but without hesitation, you will agree with me that we still have a long way to go. In celebration of this year's women's international day, I have decided to profile Ruby Bridges, one of the most daring women at a very young and tender age. Her story and moves, I want to share with you. 

"At the tender age of six, Ruby Bridges advanced the cause of civil rights in November 1960 when she became the first African American student to integrate an elementary school in the South. 

Born on September 8, 1954, Bridges was the oldest of five children for Lucille and Abon Bridges, farmers in Tylertown, Mississippi. When Ruby was two years old, her parents moved their family to New Orleans, Louisiana in search of better work opportunities. Ruby’s birth year coincided with the U.S. Supreme Court’s landmark ruling in Brown v. the Board of Education of Topeka Kansas, which ended racial segregation in public schools. 

Nonetheless, southern states continued to resist integration, and in 1959, Ruby attended a segregated New Orleans kindergarten. A year later, however, a federal court ordered Louisiana to desegregate. The school district created entrance exams for African American students to see whether they could compete academically at the all-white school. Ruby and five other students passed the exam. 

Her parents were torn about whether to let her attend the all-white William Frantz Elementary School, a few blocks from their home. Her father resisted, fearing for his daughter’s safety; her mother, however, wanted Ruby to have the educational opportunities that her parents had been denied. Meanwhile, the school district dragged its feet, delaying her admittance until November 14. Two of the other students decided not to leave their school at all; the other three were sent to the all-white McDonough Elementary School. 

Ruby and her mother were escorted by four federal marshals to the school every day that year. She walked past crowds screaming vicious slurs at her. Undeterred, she later said she only became frightened when she saw a woman holding a black baby doll in a coffin. 

She spent her first day in the principal’s office due to the chaos created as angry white parents pulled their children from school. Ardent segregationists withdrew their children permanently. Barbara Henry, a white Boston native, was the only teacher willing to accept Ruby, and all year, she was a class of one. Ruby ate lunch alone and sometimes played with her teacher at recess, but she never missed a day of school that year. 

Ruby bridges

While some families supported her bravery – and some northerners sent money to aid her family – others protested  throughout the city. The Bridges family suffered for their courage: Abon lost his job, and grocery stores refused to sell to Lucille. Her share-cropping grandparents were evicted from the farm where they had lived for a quarter-century. Over time, other African American students enrolled; many years later, Ruby’s four nieces would also attend. In 1964, artist Norman Rockwell celebrated her courage with a painting of that first day entitled, “The Problem We All Live With.”

Ruby graduated from a desegregated high school, became a travel agent, married and had four sons. She was reunited with her first teacher, Henry, in the mid 1990s, and for a time the pair did speaking engagements together. Rudy later wrote about her early experiences in two books and received the Carter G. Woodson Book Award

A lifelong activist for racial equality, in 1999, Ruby established The Ruby Bridges Foundation to promote tolerance and create change through education. In 2000, she was made an honorary deputy marshal in a ceremony in Washington, D.C." 

Be bold for change!

Happy International Women's Day