How to love

by - Wednesday, January 06, 2016


Love,  it is one of the most commonly misconstrued concepts. We all want to love and be loved romantically.  But do we know how to?  When we claim to love a person is that all there is to it?  I should let you know that love is an art and like all forms of art,  it is learned. You love by learning how to.  There is a way to properly love and that does not happen by chance,  it is intentional. 


It should be taught from generation to generation. For example, a mother can teach her child how to love properly. And this is mostly by example. Of course, the mother loves her husband but expressing this love is how the children can learn how to love and make the other person realize that they are loved. 

Based on feelings, love can be selfish. If you don't feel a certain way (feelings), it may be difficult for you to express love towards your husband or wife when you learn how to love you understand that the feeling comes and goes but you should still cook a nice meal for your husband despite what you feel at the moment; you understand that you should still watch your wife's back when you see that she is about to walk into trouble.

Loving someone despite the unpleasant feeling at any point in time is learned. Love is not the way our society portrays it to look like. Our society makes us think that love and its expression is automatic. They make us feel that if you claim to love a person, everything else should fall in place but it's not totally true. The feeling and mushy mushy stuff may be the foundation required for anything to be expressed but it isn't the all in all. An older sibling (who obviously loves his sibling) may beat his younger sibling to death. It is the responsibility of the parent to teach the older sibling how to love the younger one. It includes forgiveness, perseverance, forbearance and patience. 

A mother will have to know how to love her husband and child differently. It isn't the same kind of love and so everyone should consciously learn this. 

People don't know but that popular wife beater may  actually love his wife. The problem he has is how to manage difficulties and in the same process love the people around him (by not dragging them into his palaver). He may claim to love and in reality love his wife. This is why we need to submit our hearts to God who inspires and teaches us to love properly. I now mean love as an action verb. 

Here is how to love : learn it. 

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