How to Apologize

by - Monday, April 11, 2016


Yesterday I was in a neighbour's room when I stumbled on AWAKE! September 2015 issue. "A Balanced View of Money" was the publication headline and that caught my attention. Flipping over to the 'Help for the family' made it all the more interesting and I thought to share this with you. Many of the things that go wrong in our relationships might be averted if we let go of our ego and quickly apologize. This and more you will learn from this excerpt:




"THE CHALLENGE

You and your spouse have just had an argument. ‘I don’t need to apologize,’ you tell yourself. ‘I’m not the one who started it!’ You drop the issue, but the tension lingers. You reconsider apologizing, but you cannot bring yourself to say those simple words “I’m sorry.”

WHAT YOU CAN DO

An apology can extinguish the flames of conflict
Focus on your spouse. Try to think of a time when someone apologized to you and how good that made you feel. Why not make your spouse feel the same way? Even if you do not believe you were wrong, you can apologize for the hurt your spouse feels or for the unintended consequences of your actions. Such words can help your spouse to heal.—Bible principle: Luke 6:31.

Focus on your marriage. View an apology, not as a defeat for you, but as a victory for your marriage. After all, a person who remains offended is “more unyielding than a fortified city,” says Proverbs 18:19. It is difficult, if not impossible, to restore peace in such a defensive atmosphere. On the other hand, when you apologize you prevent the offense from becoming a barrier. In essence, you put your marriage ahead of yourself.—Bible principle: Philippians 2:3.

Be quick to apologize. True, apologizing may be difficult if you are not fully to blame. But your spouse’s faults do not excuse bad behavior on your part. So do not hesitate to apologize, thinking that the passing of time will cover over the offense. Your apologizing can make it easier for your spouse to apologize too. And the more you practice apologizing, the easier it will become for you.—Bible principle: Matthew 5:25.

Prove that you mean it. Rationalizing your behavior is not the same as apologizing for it. And saying, perhaps with a tinge of sarcasm, “I’m sorry that you’re so sensitive about this” is not an apology at all! Accept responsibility for your actions and acknowledge the hurt your spouse feels, whether you believe that the hurt is warranted or not.

Face facts. Humbly accept that you will make mistakes. After all, everyone does! Even if you think you are blameless in a situation, recognize that your version of what happened is probably not the whole story. “The first to state his case seems right,” says the Bible, “until the other party comes and cross-examines him.” (Proverbs 18:17) You will be more apt to apologize if you have a realistic view of yourself and your shortcomings."

I hope you found this excerpt as resourceful as I did. Have a fabulous week ahead and remember to apologize quickly. Xoxo... 

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2 comments

  1. Yeah kinda makes sense to apologize and all but.... WOMEN are just so damn unreasonable at times plus I'm a dude i'm egoistical why should i be the one to apologize? She does something wrong then she should know.... (don't even think of telling me of what Jesus said about turning thy left cheek when thy right hath been slapped)...

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    1. You have vexed o. Kikikikikikiiki..

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