What Lesson(s) Did You Learn From Your Relationship With Your Ex?

by - Saturday, December 17, 2016


Hello family. Yeah, we are going interactive this Saturday. I am hoping we'd be able to share a few lessons with each other and have some fun too. I am also hoping that we will find encouragement and draw strength from one another too. So, here goes : What Lesson(s) Did You Learn From Your Relationship With Your Ex?

Please, post your answers as comments under this post. You can also interact with other blog readers. Let's go!

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20 comments

  1. One thing I learnt was never to create a communication gap. It was a long distance relationship, communication was an extra effort. I got tired along the line especially when you are trying to reach out but no response.

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    1. Communication is the vehicle to intimacy in relationships. When it's destroyed, anything, negative can result.

      Great lesson.

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  2. I learnt the hard way that girls(at least my ex) do not like "nice" guys. They prefer mean(some would say firm but I think it's mean) guys. So I simply unrestrained the meanness in me and it worked liked a charm. It has worked every time since then. So I'd say love and care so much and at the same time don't give a rip.

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    1. Interesting (with raised brow)

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    2. What a lesson he has there. Hmmmmm. Okay

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    3. You know, somehow, Women are beginning to restrain from total giving of love and care because of this fear of coming off as too 'nice'. We all fear being taken for granted. So, who is going to be vulnerable here. I feel we need some vulnerability, if not plenty,when we are relating with our partners.

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    4. Interesting comments. But I don't think being mean can mean anything romantic to any lady. I believe the word is 'firmness'. I think it's in the place of a man to be firm and maybe decisive (though this can be sometimes herculean, as we seldom don't know what position to take in certain circumstances). I think 'nice' but 'firm' will beat unrestrained 'meanness' (whatever it means).
      By and large, there's really no 'one size fits all'. Different strokes for different folks'. But then, please help a brother; what does 'ex' really mean?!

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    5. Humphrey's comment definately sparked reactions. I like your submission too @Adedotun.

      Yeah, what does 'ex' mean?

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  3. Well, I have learnt to be more transparent and less doubtful....

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    1. Yes. Transparency and trust are important for relationships to thrive.

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  4. Í learnt that when your bf friend is comfortable talking about another girl he is dating aside the one you know, then you are a side chick, I also learnt that if your boyfriend has a close female friend then you are been cheated on

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    1. Hmmmmmmmm. I don't know about the close female friend though. But I am confident that there definitely should be boundaries. When your boyfriend replaces friendship with you with another girl, there is fire on the mountain. That I know.

      I don't understand the first paragraph of the comment well.

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    2. I meant to say if your boyfriend's friend in the first paragraph

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    3. Oh, now I understand. Thank you for sharing these lessons.

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  5. Communication wasn't enough. We hardly talked about serious matters and that caused a breach in connection. We fizzled out so easily.

    I'll never want to be in a relationship that I'm not free to talk about a!most anything.

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    1. I think we sometimes think openness and an unrestrained expression of our vulnerability is weakness. I remember a friend telling me that even though she and her boyfriend were in a chaste relationship, they could not mention anything sexually related and that made her feel very unsafe. She wanted to be able to talk about anything anyhow she feels it.

      Intellectual connection is also very important in sustaining relationships. We should be able to initiate and sustain meaningful, deep conversations. I guess this depends on how much we invest in our own selves too.


      This is such a great lesson. Thank you for sharing.

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  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. #sighs... I learnt so much but wat i mainly learnt is dat a girl is not to love a guy too much dan the guy does love her. Wen he knws dat u really really nd really love him, he might start taking u for granted nd messing up.

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