Why do you want to be in a relationship?

by - Monday, August 21, 2017

black lovers in a relationship

Being in a relationship is a beautiful thing, having someone to talk to, to share your burden with, to share your joys with, to laugh with, someone you can count on, the knowledge that someone’s got you no questions asked, and you got them too. Being in a relationship is beautiful, especially when you are in a relationship with the right person and for the right reason.

People go into relationships for different reasons. A lot of people rush into relationships just so they can avoid dealing with themselves. Some people are so afraid of who they might be if they don’t have anyone to boss around or lean on; they rush into any relationship they can find. Some go into relationships to relieve themselves of financial burdens, some go into relationships for the companionship, while others go into relationships because they want to get married.

Relationships are beautiful, fact but if you are in the wrong relationship or if you are clinging on to someone for the wrong reasons it could be worse than a death sentence. I know people who have become a shadow of themselves because they fancy themselves in love with people who are killing them slowly. You read stories of people who are killed by their spouses for one silly reason or the other and you begin to wonder, where there no signs? Did these people wake one morning and became complete monsters? Or do people ignore these signs because they want to be in a relationship or they are afraid of being alone.

Any kind of relationship you go into should improve you. The truth is that not all relationships last forever or lead to marriage, but every relationship should leave you a little smarter, a little better than you were when you entered the relationship.  If you are in a relationship and all you it does is take and take away from you, then something is terribly wrong, check it.

If your relationship isn’t adding anything in your life, then you need to check that relationship and check yourself too.  You may have gotten into the relationship for the wrong reasons or you may be staying for the wrong reason.

The truth is if you are in a relationship because you can’t stand being alone then you need help. You need to take a step back and check yourself, having company is beautiful, but there is nothing as beautiful as having your own company. You need to be able to enjoy your company, you need to love who you are when you are alone for you to be able to understand what you need in a relationship. You need to understand who you are so you can walk away from any relationship that may be suffocating.

You might like to read: why do you want to get married?

If you are in a relationship simply because you want to get married then you need to check yourself. True there is nothing wrong in wanting to get married but if that is the only thing you are after, you may say yes to just about anyone even if that person isn’t well suited for your personal and mental health.  You may not be strong enough to walk away if that person turns out to be a monster after marriage.

If you go into a relationship because you enjoy being in control, bossing people around and having people fear you, then I truly feel sorry for you. True you will always see people to boss around, a lot of people just want to be in a relationship, they don’t have no idea why, they just want a relationship, so you will always have someone to intimidate. But no matter how hard you try, trying to make people feel small will never make you bigger than they are. You will remain small until you realize that how big you are or the amount of respect you get has nothing to do with how small the people giving it are or may seem.


If you are going into a relationship because you are looking for someone to hand over your financial burden to, then you need help.  Remember that saying ‘’whoever pays the piper dictates the tune?’’ well, how long do you honestly plan to live like that? How long will you live your life the way somebody else wants you to just because of money? How long do you intend to remain a slave? How long?

I will leave you with this. You should go into relationships for the companionship, you should be in a relationship because you love yourself enough and you wouldn’t mind sharing that love with others. You should go into a relationship because you know what you want. Trust me, when you know what you want, you will spot it easy. You should go into a relationship knowing fully where you are headed, knowing that your partner should support you and have your back always, and you should have theirs too. 

Why do you want to be in a relationship? Let's hear your thoughts.

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