5 Proven ways to hurt people

by - Wednesday, April 08, 2015

Hello ladies and gentlemen, how are you doing today? Wednesday, uhn? You are not yet done with the week, so stop looking forward to the weekend. Freaking change that job if you totally detest it this much. Oh yeah, you heard me right. I mean, this can't keep happening every week, for how long? Anyway, that is not the focus of today's post. Let's get back to work.

You see ehn, some people are doing me strong tins in my life, I am visiting them one by one. It is a one-at-a-time thing and I am almost done. You want to know how to get back at those people doing you strong tins too? Let's partner.

Call Adeniyi Adeniji
Oh, no sentiments. This Adeniyi is not me. Moreover, nobody I know calls me Adeniyi. Esther is what they call me and I must say that I am grateful (because I will soon change it,you get? *winks*). Yeah, back to the hurting spree, call Adeniyi Adeniji. Niyi is going to give you one more chance, just one more chance and you are done. We made it, dude. We succeeded in hurting him already. Mispronounce and misspell people's names unapologetically. Do it not just once and you hurt them.

Buy them bread whenever you are returning from a very long journey, say, Russia.
Oh yeah. That's how much you don't give a damn about them. If you can't break that silly routine of buying bread, you succeed in passing the 'I don't really care as such' message because the last time you went to Sokoto, it was this same bread. Now, you are coming from Russia! Bread still? Argrrrrrrrrrh...
Well done! You did it again.

Channel your accumulated anger at them.
Ehn o, just do that. Oh, you don't know how? Why must I teach you everything? Okay, okay, calm down and listen carefully

Your Friend: why haven't you sent me the picture nau?
You: Ha, aren't we in Nigeria together. Wo, see no MB jare. Moreover my phone is totally flat. Dude!
Well, you accuse him first of being stupid for asking and that's because you dumped your sorry anger on him. Oh yeah, he is indeed hurt.

Tell them that the reason why they came late to work was because rain fell.
Do this to the married ones especially. We all know what that implies, right? Let me hear you say Amen....God help you, the dude has been having a hard time getting his car to start in the cold. Saying this could pass for a joke and it's okay but when the atmosphere is a serious one, say a mutually superior boss is around, you don't just crack foolish jokes. See, this is just another way, assume reasons for people's failures and mistakes.

Insist on calling mince pie meat pie.
Listen, this one is very simple. That English graduate babe offended you and you are about to get back at her. You just need to repent on every correction you made to your grammar mistakes. Better still, chant them over. Look for other ones, mince pie is just one.

The Bible says that bad company corrupts good manners. You may need to stop reading this Blog if you think that I have not been much of a good company. Lol. Ahahahahahahahhahahaah. Lately, I have been on a mischief stool. A close friend of mine sat on it for a whole day. I decided to try this stool out, sat on it for like half a day and I could not resist its aura. Boy, I have been on it for 6 days already. It sure sounded like a good idea, now it's one of the best things that ever happened to me. The mischief stool. See me in person for more details. Remember, in person! 

Let's get something pretty clear, this is actually what I am trying to pass across to you- except you really have intentions of hurting people:

-Stop misspelling/mispronouncing people's names.
-Do not do things to people because it is a norm, do it because you care.
-Channel your anger elsewhere, not at them.
-Do not assume reasons for people's failures.
-Take heed to important corrections, it shows that you care enough to acknowledge their concern for your mistakes.

P.S- So, you really wanted to start hurting people? Hmmmmnnnn...I ain't getting back at anybody,that was said to capture your evil mind. Repent today. END TIME! *laughter rolls* In which of these ways have you been hurt by somebody?

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