Life of a New Lagos ''Jobber'' #2 - Phone Thieves Use Guns. In Lagos.

by - Wednesday, March 15, 2017

'Wo, won ma ja foni yen gba lowo e nisin'

No, I am not interpreting any shingbai because yes, I am grumpy and I swear to noodles, I am hungry but I can't eat anymore because I don't want to eat late at night because I want to be drastic about maintaining my weight because just this evening I saw Deborah with whom I went to the same secondary school and she is still as same as we departed after valedictory service and I don't know what she did to deserve the gift to eat any freaking thing without adding pounds.

After Mr 'pokenosing into other people's affairs' said 'line 1',my mind flashed back to my collegue's narration of how his phone was snatched from him at gun point.

Gun pointiiiiiii. Lasgidi!

This Mr 'I don't know what his business is' had been staring at me in your traffic for a long time. Y'all know those stupid stand still traffic sturvs are. Iranu. Next thing, he dished me some advice.

Somebody kanor press phone in peace niyen o. But eko baje gan shaaaaaa. Honestly. Somebody will come and tell me tomorrow that there is mainland and Island so I should go and experience the good side of Lagos first. Oginni?! Uhn, oginni? C'mon let me hear word, will you?

I learned just this afternoon, from an housing and infrastructure expert and consultant that Lagos is a meta city. Sorry o, 'mega city' people. Actually, 'mega' sounds cool kind of, like in a porsh way. So, 10 million and above - mega city ; 20 million and above - meta city. You people in Lagos are 23 million. I am not lying. All of you, 23 million people tan tan. So, in fact, I don't understand what all of you are doing there o. They say by 2030, all of you will be 30 million.

So, well, you know, there will be at least one person to snatch another person's phone on the road. With a gun! Ah, jatijati shaaaaaa.

Tue,14th March. 8:33pm

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